thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
