Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
