I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
