How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
