I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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