Plan B is the new Plan A
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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