Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Randomize
