apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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