why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
