We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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