haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
