hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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