Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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