We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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