went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
