I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
