so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
