Walk of Shame. In a state park.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
