Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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