How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
