Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
