Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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