I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
