stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Sorry about my life...
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
