but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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