the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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