I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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