my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
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