Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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