I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Come share oat with me in your robe
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
