i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
