ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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