operation have a gay friend backfired
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
