It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
