girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
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I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
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We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
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