Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize