Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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