omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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