I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Barsexuality is the new black.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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