Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
