Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
