After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Randomize
