ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
