we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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