He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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