Kareoke will never be a sober sport
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
