The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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