"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
