just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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