dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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