I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize