Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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