I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
