god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
