So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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